Magical Exposition Cat

This was without a doubt the strangest day of Salmacis’s life. Not only was magic real, but she could now use it. Half her house had been destroyed in a battle against a monster named after a chess piece. And there was the flying, talking cat that was still following her around. Which she probably wouldn’t mind as much if it would stop calling her “the destined Mahou Shojou!” and insisting she needed to go on a magical journey to find more pieces of the Glitch.

“Um, if it’s alright with you Mr. Jaja-chan, I, um, think I’d rather just let someone else handle that.” Salmacis said as she walked down the sidewalk. Her bike had been an unfortunate casualty of her battle, meaning it was going to be a long trip back to school.

“Nonsense! Fate has chosen you as its champion. We must begin searching for more shards of the Glitch immediately!” Jaja-chan said as he floated next to Salmacis.

“I didn’t even know magic was real until a few minutes ago! How am I supposed to do any adventuring if I don’t know the first thing about what’s happening to me?”

Jaja-chan sighed. Well, more meowed. Meowed in a manner reminiscent of a sigh. “Alright, let me start from the beginning….
“Long ago, my race was the guardians of the Glitch. It was a time of magical peace and prosperity. But Dark Forces rose to shatter our peace. These forces of Darkness sought to claim the Glitch for themselves, and rule over the world as tyrants. The battle between my people and these evildoers was a terrible one, and left me as the last surviving member of my race. In order to stop the Evil, I used all my power to seal both it and myself away. However, that much strain caused the Glitch to shatter into the thirteen pieces it is now. For millennia, the seal kept the Dark Forces at bay. But they have now broken free, and seek to claim the Glitch to achieve their goal of total magical domination of the world. I was able to collect one piece on my own,” Jaja-chan indicated the glowing glass ball on his collar, “but the remaining 12 eluded me. But now that you have become a Mahou Shojou, you can go forth and save the world from evil’s grasp!” Jaja-chan finished dramatically.

Salmacis stared at him with narrowed eyes. “What?” He said.

“That story… sounds really fishy.” Salmacis muttered.

“Oh, so now you’re an expert on magical history?”

“No, but… why did you have to seal yourself away as well as the evil? Why is the evil just some kind of vaguely defined ‘Force of Darkness’ instead of having an actual name? Why doesn’t your own race have a name? If the pieces of the Glitch have been floating around for millennia, how come they’ve never come up before this? How did the Forces of Darkness escape the seal anyways? What even do you mean by sealing them away, how does that even work? How many millennia are we talking, because written history actually goes back several thousand years already so unless we’re talking over 6,000 years back this should still be something we have record of. Where do Magical Girls even come into the picture? How does it work that a race of talking cats are the guardians of the Glitch, but only a person can harness its power to become a Magical Girl? What even is magic anyways, like, what were those blue beams I was firing out of the staff? Some form of plasma? But there should have been significantly more heat were that the case, which means-”

“Whatever happened to young girls dreaming of becoming Mahou Shojou and having magical journeys?”

“I never agreed to have any magical journeys!” Salmacis shouted, a little upset about him interrupting her stream of questions.

“Ah! But you did! You formed a contract!”

“It was a stressful situation! Contracts formed under duress aren’t legally binding!”

Jaja-chan glared at her as best as his cat face could. Then he turned away and thought for a moment. “That’s a shame. You’re missing out on… on getting your wish.”

“My what?”

“The Glitch is a very powerful piece of magic. If a Mahou Shojou were to gather all the pieces together, it may have enough magic to grant her one wish. It could be any wish she want. Money, a lifetime supply of cake, love….”

“That… sounds even fishier than before.” Salmacis said, but there was the slightest hint of hesitation.

“I’ll let you think on it. But it seems we’ve reached your school. Since it would be suspicious for you to be seen with a flying cat, I shall take my leave.”

“Wait, I haven’t finished asking questions!” Salmacis said, but Jaja-chan had already vanished. Well, that hadn’t been as enlightening as she’d have liked. Time to see how much trouble she was going to be in for missing first period, then.